Army marriage Retreat

Okay, so we decided to go on an army marriage retreat this weekend. We knew that it would be time away from the kids and that we would learn a few things. Little did we know just how awesome it is. First off, it is at this resort in North Carolina that has an indoor waterpark at the hotel! We have our own rooms, breakfast at the hotel, a 50 dollar gift card to eat lunch at any of the places inside of the resort and then dinner at a restaurant away from the resort. Tonight we all went to TGI Fridays and our "limit" was 25 dollars per person! I mean who can eat that much food per person? That and the three hour classes are incredible. They give you these fantastic books on building a stronger marriage and it is wonderful. You can bring your kids if you can't finda sitter at home and they have childcare during the meetings. It is really just awesome. It is a great thing that this unit is doing and I can't wait to go on more of these once Chris gets back from the deployment. We never get time alone without the girls and since it centers around our marriage it is even better.

I really miss the girls but I am learning to be less attached to them. Actually it's Meadow that I'm mostly attached to. It is because of her medical problems and such but I am doing better at being away. I have met some nice people. A major and his wife were awesome people and we met a couple we had to sit with at dinner who has a little boy that is like Meadow. They ended up leaving the restaurant to go back because he was being a pain but we didn't even notice because we are so used to it with Meadow. They felt bad for us and we told them that it didn't even phase us. It was funny. But it is nice to finally meet a couple that really seems to be like us and to not be threatened by what it is that I do for a living. It's like some enlisted wives think that having an education and having a real "career" is too above them. I just want to fit in but I guess it's destiny for me not to.

Orders

My husband officially has orders to deploy and while we have known this was happening for awhile, it makes it official. And it all of sudden makes it hurt worse. I have a position that will help me get through it but I know that the first month is going to be very difficult. The first month is always the hardest and this time I have to figure out some way for my 3 year old daughter not to freak out when she realizes daddy's work is lasting much longer than normal. It saddens me that we have to go through this yet again, but it is even harder to think about the fact that this won't be the last time. We will have at least one more deployment before his contract is up and that is only if he doesn't reenlist again. He will have ten years in and who knows what he will decide at that point. Right now I am just trying to figure out how to keep my sanity for the next little while until he is gone.

I can't take off to see him go and that is devastating for me. Unless he leaves on a weekend we won't be there to see him off. And I will have to go every night without him here and we will not be able to talk as often as we did last time due to the conflicting work schedules that we will be on.

Christopher is the love of my life. He is my rock, and he helps me to stand. Without him I am incomplete, not a whole person. And while it is going to be very difficult to do yet again, we will survive because we know that without each other we are nothing but empty. And through God we can get through anything. Another year will be gone, another year we can't get back. But hopefully it will help us to grow stronger in our love and faith in God and in one another.

Anxious for summer to end

Well sort of. I am anxious to start working on July 22nd but I am sad that as soon as I start that is less time with my family. And once summer winds down then Chris leaves for Iraq. So it has it's ups and downs. I am already starting to prepare for the school year since I know that I will be teaching ELA and Social Studies for 4th-5th grade. I am trying to find books to buy for the classroom as far as novels for the kids to read and I am trying also to figure out things and get things together so that I am ready to start. I am crazy excited about this and I really really can't wait to start teaching. I'm still waiting for my contract from the school but that will come sometime really soon. At least that is what the headmaster said yesterday.

Chris is in the field and he's actually liking it. Well not liking the being dirty part, but loving learning the equipment that he is now working with. It's all new and high speed so he is all happy about that. It's weird because when I met him he would not work any extra or do anything unless absolutely forced to. Now he stays on and helps his soldiers out after he's off shift. It's quite a change but I really see how mature he has become and how dedicated he is to what he is doing. My heart swells and I am so proud of the man that I married.

Just another day

My husband is in the field and I'm sitting here anxious for the next month to pass by. I am excited about starting work in July but I am also anxious for the next year to fly by so my husband can go to Iraq and get home as fast as he can. But I know that he will miss so much with the kids and we have been through this once already. When he left the last time Meadow was about four months old. And I sent him pictures all the time. He missed Meadow's first steps and first words and everything. And now this time he will leave and Lizzie will be four months old. And again he will miss it all. It is so sad but I know that he is doing what he has to to help protect our country. I love him so much and I know that he is doing what he can.

I am a little bummed because I found out that I start work when he's home on leave. I will work almost the entire time he's home and that bums me out. But he will get plenty of time with the kids and we are going to Charleston for one of the weekends. And that I am super excited about! We are going to visit his sister and I haven't been to Charleston yet so I am really stoked about the entire thing. There are so many positives and I am sad and will miss him desperately but at least this time I will be teaching and will be able to keep my mind on other things.

The girls are doing good and Whytney is super busy. And come the start of school she will be even busier. Meadow will be okay as long as I tell her that daddy is at work but I think she will begin to notice that he isn't coming on the weekend like usual. But we shall see.

Now I just need to get my little behind back in the gym and get back to working out. I really need to start running again and stuff. That way I can get back in shape a bit and then I will have more energy.

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

So this morning I figured that instead of sitting here and hoping to get a call that I would not waste my day freaking out. So I went and got my hair done and while I was there I talked to the headmaster at the school and I got a teaching position! I am so thrilled to be teaching fulltime next year. No more subbing for me and I am beyond thrilled. This is what God has called me to do and I am so grateful that He has given me this opportunity.

Now I don't have to go crazy while Chris is deployed. I will have something to help keep my mind off him being gone and it will occupy my mind. And now my children all have a place to go to and I am really excited about that. I am still extremely sad that my husband is leaving again but it is what has to happen. It is the path God has him going down at the moment. And over time we will figure out if the army is what he is meant to do for more time or if, when his years are up in 2013, he is meant to get out and start down another path.

I am just so grateful and God answered many people's prayers in this job for me. I am grateful for everyone who prayed and for the way God has spoken to me. Praise the Lord!

Interview is finished

Today I had my second interview for the charter school. I think it went well but he said I will find out on Friday. So now I just wait and pray that God's will is done. I have a sense of peace so I'm sure that however this is meant to go, I will be okay.

Chris and I are going on a marriage retreat through the army the end of June and I am super excited. I think that we are really going to enjoy spending three days together without our children. It will be good to be together, especially with the impending deployment.

I am nervous about a few things but I know that God will answer in His time and all I can do is just wait it out. I think tonight I am going to create a lesson plan for children's church next weekend. This week's has already been created and sent to the person who is teaching it. So we will see!

Test run

Chris was home this past weekend and it was wonderful. Today he left for the field for three weeks and I am calling this a test run of how it will be like when he's actually gone. It won't be bad the first week or so but after that it will get hard. I think that this is a good thing for Meadow because she's so attached to her daddy and she doesn't remember when he was gone the last time. So we will see how she does during this time of him being away. I already miss him terribly but I know that the feeling of longing will only get worse when he's gone for a year again. Hopefully I will have a teaching job and will be busy and so it won't consume me every day.

Last deployment he left from Germany and we had been apart already for a few months when he left. It was easier saying goodbye to him on the phone because he and I had already been separated. But now we see each other and we are together. I'm not sure if that will be a comforting feeling or if it will make me even more torn up than I already know I will be. If I am able I want to be there to say goodbye to him. If not I am going to talk to his dad about driving down there to be with him. I don't want him to be alone in this. Not when we aren't far away. Man, I miss him already.

Interview

So I had an interview today at a new school and it went great. The head of the school is prior military so that was immediately something we had in common. It was funny, he called me SGT Cantrell. I laughed and said, no that is my husband. It was silly. So we chatted and now I have a second interview next week! He said it was more of a discussion than an interview so I am assuming that is a really good sign! I really hope I get this position. I can't wait to teach fulltime and the idea of teaching at a brand new school sounds fantastic. He said they want me for the K-1st position and that is great since that is really what I want to teach if I couldn't teach social studies there. I love the smaller children and the position I am hopefully up for at the other school is in kindergarten so it seems to be consistent as far as that goes. I am just really hoping that this works out. I think I have a very good shot at getting this position from everything he said. I will find out more next week and I'm really hoping that I get this.

Chris should be home tomorrow night with Armywives Season2! It came out on dvd tuesday and he bought it for me for my birthday. So I am super stoked about it. I just miss him so much since he didn't get to come home last weekend. But this weekend will be his last until the end of June. I hope the next few weeks go by quickly while he is in the field but I am doubting that they will. It happens and I have to get used to it. But he is taking leave in July and that really makes me happy since he leaves a few weeks after that.

Ah, the life I live. Some people think it's difficult but it's just my life. Sometimes it's hard but other times it's well worth it. Overall, it's just my life.

Been busy with life

Things have been busy and I haven't been keeping up. We are in the process of helping set up for the new church that begins this Sunday and I am in charge of Children's church. So I have been trying to find stuff and figure some things out. This is all very new to me so I'm not sure I'm doing the best job, but I think time will help with that.

I also got amazing news on Saturday about a school here in my town who is hiring new teachers. Well not necessarily "new" but they have a bunch of elementary/early childhood positions available. So I called them on Monday and the head of the school wanted me to drop off my application that day because they are interviewing this week. I had already completed my application and so I took it directly there that morning. This morning I spoke with him and I have an interview tomorrow morning! I am really excited but very nervous as I know that God has called me into this profession. I know that deep in my soul. But God isn't in control over the economy and how people are being right now. So the jobs are slim and almost impossible to find. I am going into this prepared and I feel in my gut I have a great shot. At which position, I have no idea. But there is one in particular that would literally be a dream come true. It is a position where I would only teach social studies. That is my most passionate subject and I could teach the children so many things about history. But alas, only time will tell. I am still hoping for a position at the school that I worked at previously. But God knows where I belong and He will make sure that His plans for me are followed. I am hoping that I do get a position because not only will it be rewarding, but I will be able to keep busy and keep my mind off Chris being in Iraq. And any distraction is a great one. And the time will go by faster if I'm not sitting at home worrying about him all the time.

Chris is in class this week and then he will be home this weekend. On Monday though he heads to the field for three weeks. Then in July he will get to take leave and that will be our last time with him continually until he gets back from Iraq. We will survive this because God put us together and has given us this incredible family. And as long as we put God first then we can get through anything. I truly believe that and I think it will help us get through this deployment.

School has officially let out for the year and my oldest has done incredibly with her straight As again! She received an award for the Highest Academic average yesterday and I couldn't be more proud. She is a wonderful child and God blessed me greatly when he brought her into my life. I can't wait to see how each of my girls is going to turn out. I am so proud of each of their milestones and accomplishments. Although with Lizzie she hasn't done much but hold her head up yet. And I am very proud that Meadow is mostly potty trained. She has an accident here or there but overall she does very well.

I have been very busy but I'm glad. Busy is good. I have another appointment this afternoon for some stuff and then the interview tomorrow. I don't have much else this week until my birthday on Saturday. Then next week seems to be full of dentist appointments. I do hope all of this goes quickly as I like time to go fast when Chris is gone.