Stress

It was recently brought to my attention that all of what I have going on is a lot in each thing. But compounded, like I have, it's huge. And people wonder how I deal with it all. And until recently I felt like my head was going to explode due to it all. But now I'm starting to realize that things are what they are and that there isn't much I can do. I see that there are many possibilities that could happen and I know that no matter what the outcome is, we are going to still be a family and that we will get through it. I am grateful because I have a job and God has seen fit to put me in this position for a reason I have yet to figure out. But I know that there is a reason and that it will be revealed to me in due time. I also know that my children and I will be reunited with Chris at some point. Whether that means we get to live together and see each other daily or we do what we did before he deployed and just see each other on weekends, we will still be a family and we will still be okay. And time will show us God's plan and what will happen in the long run. And the longer we stay in this house, the longer time we have to try and pay some things off and to work hard to make things easier for us in the long run. And maybe that is God's plan. Maybe we are meant to do things the right way and not take any easy ways out. And maybe God knows that if we left this summer we could potentially end up in a worse place financially. But who knows. It's not my place to guess. It's only my place to listen to God's wise words and direction.

Need help

Teaching doesn't stop at school. Well working on it doesn't anyway. I am sitting here currently creating lesson plans to get me through the next week. While these are great and all, my main reason for doing them like I am right now is to give them to my mentor teacher. She wants copies of them for one week to show I am capable of doing it. All it's proving right now is that it's taking away too much time from my kids. But whatever, I will do whatever I have to to make people happy. I think I need to email her the long range plans too at some point but right now I'm concentrating on this. I'm sure she'll hate it just like everything else I do. But whatever. I know what I'm doing and I'm sick of hearing that I'm not doing a good job. Parents keep telling me different and so I'm doing what I feel is best for the students.

Our house hasn't had anyone look at it yet. But it's only been 2 weeks. I hope something happens sometime soon though just to give me some peace of mind. I am scared I'm going to be stuck here another year. If that happens then so be it, but I'm not looking forward to it. I hate the idea of Chris living in Georgia alone and without anyone there. But we will still have the weekends so I guess that is okay when he gets back from Iraq.

My kids are doing well but they are not getting along with one another. My oldest and middle fight worse than any siblings I have ever seen. It drives me insane. I wish they could just get along. I'm not looking forward to my youngest getting to be that age and joining in.

Trugging along

Things are just here and they are not as I want them but they are what they are for now. Our house has been on the market for a week and nothing yet but I'm trying not to worry yet. I figure I have 8 months to get rid of it before I really have to start worrying in a major way.

So many plans and yet I sit and wait for God to tell me that our plans are the right ones. But w will wait and see what God has in store for us.